Haha, so last week, I posted about faith, two saints your mother and I admire, and how we were raised as Catholic. Well, it so happens that the In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF)procedure we did twice to bring you into this world has been condemned by the Roman Catholic Church as a gravely evil act.
I want to tell you that I strongly believe that this view is complete BULLSHIT. If anything, EVERYTHING about you coming into this world was all about love.
Here's how we found out. Last Saturday, on March 10th, 2012, your mother went to a preparation session for your cousin Tiffany's baptism; your mother will be her Godmother. Apparently, during the session, they spent a good 45 minutes condemning IVF. That's nothing like the session we had for your prep session for your baptism, which was actually a pleasant experience.
The priest equated the procedure to be the moral low of adultery. A couple smugly said that it was the "easy way out" and that it was selfish. The Church says that this medical intervention disassociates "the sexual act from the procreative act" and it "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person,"
I'm failing to understand how any of these claims make any sense. To say that IVF is on the same level as adultery implies malicious intent and deception. I can assure you that we went into this procedure knowingly and with intentions of absolute love. In fact, because of all we went through, I believe that it made the bond between your mother and I even stronger.
To say that IVF is the "easy way out" and that maybe couples having fertility issues are just not meant to have kids and consider adoption, it's clear that people who make such claims did not endure the physical, emotional, psychological, and financial difficulties that we went through, especially your mother. And I can assure you too, that we would have done it all over again and that it was all worth it, and then some. I'm sure that I speak on behalf of many couples who have been in a similar situation in that we appreciate you being here that much more, especially when I hear people complain about their kids and hear about couples who don't even want kids and have them by accident. What we went through has given me such a profound appreciation of what it takes to have a child and you are NOT taken for granted. Personally, I think the couple who said this is enjoying the view from their high horse.. Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, maybe it's best to keep your righteous indignation to yourself. And as for adoption, well, we were always planning to also adopt. It's not wrong to want to have your own kids, so what's wrong with getting a little help? And remember, you are here because we wanted you here.
As for the Church's reasoning, I'm finding it hard to take many of their judgments seriously, let alone infallible. This is coming from a committee of old men where women have no say. This is an institution that has created an environment where sexual abuse of children is an epidemic. This is also an institution that was used to suppress the indigenous people of Latin America, the Philippines, and other colonies. While Jesus said to "sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven" (Mark 10:21-22), the Vatican went on to become a wealthy, globalized institution. I'm sure that many of the Church's rulings would be different if women had a say. But back to their argument that it goes against Natural Law, then why have the medical field at all? If you're sick, well I guess it was meant to be, same thing if you survive, because it was simply God's will. Absurd! I'm of the belief that technological advancements should be embraced provided that they are used in goodwill. After all, if they exist, then it must be God's will, right? Anyway, here's an excellent article with strong counter-arguments on the Catholic Church's stance on IVF.
I need to be clear that I DO value the teachings of Christ, rather, I have a problem with an institution that's supposed to carry out his word and teachings. I also need to be clear that the essential teachings of the Church on how to live as a decent human being are lessons that I appreciate along with what important figures in this religion represent (ie: saints, prophets, etc); I just take issue with how certain things are run and how it seems as though the Church is out of touch with today's realities; so rigid, so staunch, and so inflexible. Also, just because I feel this way, please do not let it affect how you view people who do practice this faith because Jesus' teachings are still important and everyone deserves respect no matter what they believe in.
In our room, there is a decorative text right above your crib with a quote from the Bible:
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| "For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart." 1 Samuel 1:27 |
So, while I'm pretty close to renouncing my Catholic faith, it doesn't mean that I don't believe in a higher power. In fact, I've gained a greater appreciation for this idea. So, your mother and I took a quiz on which religion is right for us. Our answers were pretty close. Mahayana Buddhism, Taoism/Daoism, and Unitarian Universalism ranked among the top 5 for us both. The common themes found among these three religions are:
- the idea that the higher power is a life force, an energy, that is found in all of us and everything
- every sentient being deserves respect
I'm much more partial to this idea because what is implicit is the notion that while science, reason, and logic are essential, there's too much we don't know about that they can't even explain and we need to be open to any possibility.
I don't know much about a lot of things, but I have lived through some experiences that that make me believe that some higher power exists.
In the end, I refuse to be part of an institution that says you were the outcome of something evil when you're a miracle in my eyes and the eyes of so many.
Love,
-Dad
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